


That is one big sparkly dildo.

by winterover



Category: Star Trek XI
Genre: Dildos, M/M, Object Insertion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-21
Updated: 2010-07-21
Packaged: 2017-10-24 15:46:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterover/pseuds/winterover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has an excellent plan to seduce Bones. It...sort of works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That is one big sparkly dildo.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink_meme/8704.html?thread=7511296#t7511296) at [](http://st-xi-kink-meme.livejournal.com/profile)[**st_xi_kink_meme**](http://st-xi-kink-meme.livejournal.com/).

When Jim unwrapped his newest purchase in the privacy of his (well, his and Bones', which was pretty convenient considering his plan) dorm room...he stared.

Then he lifted it out of its box, turned it over and over, and swallowed hard. It was both longer and thicker than his own cock, though if it was shaped like any species' cock it wasn't a human one, what with all the ridges and such. It was made of warm-on-contact glass - it was, in fact, bright pink glass, with diamond-like sparkles suspended in it and making it look even more intimidating.

 _It didn't look this big in the store,_ Jim thought, with growing alarm, as he made a fist around the base and slid it up the entire length. It was a long way. A guy with a cock like that would get either tired or massive biceps or probably both.

But Jim was a man who went through with a plan, damn it. So he got naked, slathered the thing with the antibacterial fruity-smelling lube he'd bought, and laid it carefully on the sheet-covered bedspread next to him. He knelt, then, in the middle of the bed, facing away from the door so whoever entered _(Bones please let it be only Bones and nobody in the hallway)_ would have an optimal view of the action.

He was trying to put on a show, true, even though his audience wasn't here yet, but the moan he let out when his own slicked-up fingers breached his ass was entirely real. (It wasn't his fault he naturally sounded like the actor every porn director aspired to cast.) He pumped them slowly in and out, wincing pleasurably as he stretched himself - eyed the glass dildo in all its thick, gigantic sparkly glory, and then drizzled more lube onto his hand and added a third finger.

It wasn't for all guys, but just that stimulation was enough to get him fully hard. "Oh yeah," he mumbled, rocking his hips and throwing his head back. "Bones, that's so good, c'mon, more -"

A few minutes of muttering in that same vein, fucking himself and stroking his cock with maddeningly feather-light touches, he was worked-up enough to actually consider the dildo as a viable object to stick up his ass. In fact, it was looking pretty fucking good. Just as he was sure _he_ was, at the moment - _come on, Bones. Hurry up and get back._

It was tapered, so the tip went in fairly easily. Jim groaned and leaned forward to rest his weight on one arm on the bed as his other hand slowly, slowly worked the thing into his body. Inch by inch it went in, fuller and stretching and twinging and fuller and then it just - wouldn't anymore. Jim bit his lip, screwed his eyes shut and pushed, and - "Agh! _Motherfucker_."

He pulled it out a little and added more lube, hands working by touch behind his back. Then he tried again, trying to relax his muscles and exhale and stroking himself with his free hand to sweeten the deal. A little further, and he could feel the quickly-warming tip of it _juuust_ graze that spot - and he froze, trembling all over with the exertion. "Ow," he whimpered, stuck in self-pleasure limbo, wanting it in further but _not_ wanting it in any further and not wanting to pull it out, either. Sweat was starting to trickle down his back, only adding to his discomfort.

"Okay." He blew out a breath through pursed lips. "Okay. You can do this. It's just a big cock, I bet Bones has a fucking _huge_ cock -"

"It's a pretty decent size, but I wouldn't call it _huge,_ " drawled a familiar voice, and Jim craned his head around in shock to find Bones standing there, bookbag in hand, having apparently come in while Jim was too preoccupied with _asshole burn_ to notice.

"Bones!" said Jim, as cheerfully as he could manage under the circumstances. "Fancy meeting you here."

Bones just stared at him, eyes darker than usual and lips pressed closed. No running away like he usually did, no stammering or blushing - on Bones' end, anyway. Jim could feel what blood in him wasn't in his lower half rushing up to redden his cheeks. "I. Uh. I don't think I thought this through."

The bag dropped to the floor and Bones strode forward, deftly unzippering his uniform top as he went and letting that drop, too. "Fuckin' idiot," he muttered as he pulled his black tank top over his head, and Jim was pretty sure he was drooling. His plan was working _perfectly._ Well, the _get Bones naked_ part, anyway. Jury was still out on the sex toy.

Pants stayed on, though, as Bones crawled up onto the narrow bed behind him, still grumbling on about something. "The human body," said Bones, putting a cool hand on Jim's lower back and applying pressure, and Jim went flat immediately, shivering, his valiant erection trapped between his stomach and the bedding - "Has limits. The human _rectum_ has _limits._ "

"I know," Jim gasped, as Bones started manhandling him like a damn puppet, positioning and spreading his legs and prying his fingers off the dildo. He caught both Jim's wrists and pressed them to the mattress on either side of his head, then leaned forward, all his warm solid body stretched out over top Jim's.

"Might be easier if you just let a professional handle it," he murmured, hot breath tickling Jim's ear, and Jim shuddered and nodded, and felt his wrists released. Then the dildo, which had already slid most of the way out, was gone, and the lube opened with a _snick_ of the cap, and then Bones' fingers were there at his entrance, pressing and circling lightly and finally sliding right in. Felt like two, much smaller than that toy, but still better because it was _Bones._ Bones was in him, finally - not the part of Bones he wanted in him the most, but it was better than the fucking _nothing_ he'd had to contend with for the past, well, _ever since they'd met -_

One hand grabbed his hip as Jim got finger-fucked, holding him down when all he wanted was to rock up into the motion. Then it was three fingers, going deep, and Jim gave that unintentional porn-star moan (completely unintentional!) and Bones' hand on his hip tightened.

"Damn, Jim."

 _Damn it, Jim_ meant he was in trouble. That, or Bones was just in a mood, as he normally was. But just _Damn_ , which was new, apparently meant Bones liked was he saw. Jim crossed his arms to cushion his head and let himself smirk.

"I see you smirking."

Jim let out a short, breathless laugh. "Fuck me already, Bones. Please. This was all for you, I was just trying -"

"I know what you've been trying to do," Bones growled, hand going faster, and Jim squirmed and whimpered embarrassingly under the onslaught.

"I want your cock, Bones, not just your fingers," Jim pleaded. "C'mon. It's been fucking _months_ I've been after you."

"You got a funny method of courtship," Bones replied dryly, and suddenly the fingers were gone and something else was seeking entrance - not Bones' cock, but something harder, cooler. That stupid dildo. "Sparkly pink, Jim?" Bones grunted, as it slid in, corkscrewing gently, and Jim let out a full-throated moan. Somehow it was better with Bones controlling it.

"Oh - what can I say," he panted when he could. "I'm a showy kinda guy."

Bones palmed and squeezed his ass cheeks, his thighs, as he slowly, slowly pushed in, pausing now and then to add more lube. He had Jim gasping and pleading incoherently before long, and ran his palm soothingly up and down the sticky length of Jim's spine in time with his careful strokes. "Good, Jim, just relax. That's it, that's as deep as it's goin' - Jesus, look at you." His voice was oddly admiring. "Should see yourself, all stretched open. Didn't think you could take this much cock."

Fuck. Bones was a talker. Of course he was. "Didn't think so either," Jim choked out, almost afraid to move now, though his body really wanted the friction, and letting Bones do the moving for him. "I want _you._ Later."

Bones let out a noise suspiciously like a laugh, if it weren't _Bones,_ who didn't really laugh. "You're awful greedy, you know that. Want, want, want. Want everything."

" _Boooones,_ " said Jim, long and drawn-out, as retaliation.

"Roll over," said Bones mercilessly. "Tuck one leg up so I don't have to pull out." Jim tried to do as he said, and they both somehow got him onto his back. Jim sighed in relief as his squashed erection sprang free, slapping stickily against his stomach. Bones' cheeks were pink, his bangs falling into his eyes and the bared muscles of his arms and abdomen tense as he kept on with his rhythm. Jim's legs fell wide open, hips canted up, as he watched Bones through half-lidded eyes.

When he reached for his own cock, Bones slapped his hand away. "What?"

"No touching."

"It's _my_ dick."

"And _I'm_ the one fucking you. You're gonna come from _this -_ " He drove the dildo in deep, a hard stroke of his prostate, and Jim squeaked in an undignified way and nodded desperately, holding on to the sides of the mattress instead. He was sore and uncomfortably full and probably more turned on than he'd ever been in his whole. Fucking. Life. If that was what Bones wanted, that's what he'd get. Kinky control-freak.

"Yeah," said Jim, voice raspy, bending his knees and planting his feet flat on the bed. Bones's eyebrow twitched, and the look on his face was what Jim imagined he might look like while performing brain surgery. His ass had never before been on the receiving end of such a dedicated stare. (But then, his ass had never been on the receiving end of such a huge sparkly penis before, either, so.) "More, Bones," he said urgently. "Faster."

Bones glanced up at his face. "Can you take it?"

"Wouldn't ask for it if I couldn't."

"Somehow I doubt that." But the strokes sped up nonetheless, and Jim's head lolled back against the bed, hands going white-knuckled on the mattress. At this rate, whoever slept here next year when he was assigned to another dorm was gonna wonder why there were hand-sized chunks torn out of the bed. "Good," Bones breathed, and Jim groaned through gritted teeth, jaw clenched painfully. "Just like that, Jim. You're doin' so good. You love it, don't you."

The talking really helped. Jim tensed - he could feel it coming, almost there, but he needed to touch himself, fuck, he wanted to come already before the damn pink thing split him apart - "Please," he whimpered, and Bones gave a shuddering sigh. "Bones, I need to -"

Bones leaned forward, upper arm and shoulder pistoning back and forth, and, looking up at Jim through his lashes, bent, licked his lips, and swallowed Jim's aching cock down.

People could probably hear the scream all the way down on the waterfront.

.

A little while later it was Bones' turn to smirk, naked and curled up under Jim's duvet, as Jim made his way back from the bathroom in tiny mincing steps, face contorting with every movement. As it turned out, giant dildos could be fun, but they were not without their side effects. "This isn't funny."

"You're the one who _bought_ the damn thing," Bones pointed out, moving the blankets aside to make a space as Jim sat carefully down, balancing on his hip, not his ass, with an epic wince - then lay down on his side and groaned.

"It didn't look that big in the store," Jim explained meekly. "I didn't _really_ think it would end up in my ass for real, anyway. I thought I'd play with it for a while, maybe when you came in I'd do that porn star thing where I look vacant and lick it like a lollipop -"

Bones snorted. "Saints preserve us. Well, you learned your lesson - when your eyes're bigger than your stomach, there's a problem. Metaphorically speaking."

Such an old-fashioned guy. In some respects. Jim pulled him over and kissed him, biting his lower lip before licking his way enthusiastically into his mouth, and Bones responded in kind, scooting closer to press up against him. But when, after a minute of perfectly perfect makeouts, Bones' hand moved down his back and cupped one ass cheek, Jim made a noise of pained protest and elbowed Bones' arm away. " _Ow._ Seriously, don't."

"Sorry." Bones kissed him again, carefully, as apology. "Don't you have hand-to-hand tomorrow? How the hell're you gonna manage that?"

"I'm more worried about sitting through a three-hour Astrophysics lecture. Hey, can you get me one of those doughnut-shaped pillows from Medical?"

"Hey, boss," Bones said, with fake brightness. "Can I borrow medical supplies for my roommate? I fucked him good last night with a giant sparkle-dick and now he can't sit down."

"Fine, be like that." Jim sighed dramatically. He looked over Bones' shoulder at the bedside table, where the pink dildo rested on its flared base, glittering majestically in the lamplight. "I think I'd better get rid of it."

"But it brought us _together,_ sweetheart," Bones said in mock protest, and Jim laughed, because apparently orgasms made Bones adorably silly (and who would have _thought?_ ), and pulled the duvet over his head.

If that happened to lead to another round of blowjobs, well, that was okay. Not like Jim had tried to deep-throat that thing, after all, and his mouth was still in perfect working order.

  
END


End file.
